"I'm so tired of being tired..."
Today was a very long day!
Before I get to what I did today, I need to talk about something important. Canada has flavors of potato chips that I've never seen before! Ketchup Pringles! Sour Cream and Bacon Ruffles! A whole new world!
I woke up at 7:30 AM and got my caffeine fix, then I took a shower and got ready to go. My plan was to go across the street to Quiznos and get food, but it wasn't open yet. So I went to (gasp) McDonalds. It was the only food place around that would be fast enough. I had a breakfast sandwhich, and guess what? It was GOOD! Really good! It didn't taste all greasy like they usually do. I don't know if that's a Canada thing or if I just got lucky... anyways, that was a fun surprise.
Then I took the bus to the University and went to the SU to look for a piano. I found one, but it was right in the middle of the common area and I played it for ten minutes but just couldn't go on because there were people studying and I felt bad for pounding away while they were trying to think. So I went to the music building and this time I found the practice rooms! And I found one with a sign on it that said "This room may be used for graduate audition warm-ups", so of course I snagged it right away. There were no windows on the doors like there is at SOU, and I was grateful for that. I practiced for about an hour and I felt very ready for the audition. I quit playing an hour and a half before I was scheduled to audition so I didn't wear myself out.
I showed up at the recital hall at 12:30, even though I wasn't scheduled until 1:00. I peeked at the schedule that was on the table and it said that there was a lunch hour for the panel from noon to 1 PM and that I was the first person scheduled afterwards. At 12:50, a lady came out of the recital hall and asked if I was Erin and I said yes (because I am) and she asked if I was ready and I said yes and we went into the hall. It was really pretty and big and there were somewhere between 7 and 10 faculty members there. (My memory is already fading). They asked me what pieces I was going to play and I told them, and then they told me that I could choose what I wanted to start with. My teacher had warned me that this would happen and I had already decided that if it was a piano that I hadn't played then I would start with the Chopin Scherzo, because I know it well (or so I thought) and because of the three that I'm playing, it is the easiest to play on a "new" piano.
I walked up on the stage and did not feel nervous at all. To be honest, I think I'm too tired to be nervous. I'm far beyond the stage where one night of good sleep could even begin to fix me. 6 years of working 30-40 hours a week and practicing 20-30 hours a week AND trying to have a life has caught up with me, and I am overall a very tired poodle. So maybe that explains what happened...
I started playing the Scherzo and it was going well. There were some wrong notes, but not the kind of wrong notes that matter. When I remember it, I feel like I only played for a minute and then it all went bad, but when I looked at my music later I found that I got through page 16 (out of 25) before it all went bad... I don't know how to explain it... all of the sudden I just couldn't remember what the hell I was doing. At least I didn't stop. Alex always told me "NEVER STOP", so I didn't, but man... it was NOT good. I crashed. But the thing is, I STILL didn't get nervous! I was totally calm!
Then they asked me to play some of my Bach Suite, and that went well. It wasn't amazing, but it was good and there weren't any mistakes, which surprised me because that was the one that I was most nervous about. Then they asked me to play the first movement of my Haydn Sonata, and that went VERY well. The panel must've been SO confused. They either thought that I was a great performer that doesn't let anything phase me, or they thought that I just don't know how bad I am. (In reference to the scherzo).
Then they interviewed me, and that part was pretty short and went well. I made eye contact with all of them as I was talking, blah blah blah.
When I left the building I thought that I had only been in there for 10 or 15 minutes and I felt really stupid that I barely played, but then I looked at my watch and realized that I had been in there for 35 minutes, so I felt better. Then I pulled out my phone to call Mommy-nose but then I remembered that she said that she wouldn't be home tonight until 8 PM. So I called Jacob, (Shush sister, I called you too), and debriefed and came to the conclusion that I had absolutely no idea how the hell I did, but that I was just glad it was done. Then I called my sister-nose and told her all about it. Then I got coffee and went back to my room.
As for the rest of today, I'm trying to enjoy having a few hours to do absolutely nothing. I'm so tired, I've been exhausted for months now, and its just nice to have some downtime.
I get back to Seattle tomorrow morning at 9:40 AM and work from 11:45 AM to 8 PM. Blah.
Despite the fact that work is driving me crazy, I miss Seattle and I can't wait to go back home.