Hardcore Pepperocini

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

"I'm so tired of being tired..."

-Tom Petty, Crawling Back to You

Today was a very long day!

Before I get to what I did today, I need to talk about something important. Canada has flavors of potato chips that I've never seen before! Ketchup Pringles! Sour Cream and Bacon Ruffles! A whole new world!


I woke up at 7:30 AM and got my caffeine fix, then I took a shower and got ready to go. My plan was to go across the street to Quiznos and get food, but it wasn't open yet. So I went to (gasp) McDonalds. It was the only food place around that would be fast enough. I had a breakfast sandwhich, and guess what? It was GOOD! Really good! It didn't taste all greasy like they usually do. I don't know if that's a Canada thing or if I just got lucky... anyways, that was a fun surprise.

Then I took the bus to the University and went to the SU to look for a piano. I found one, but it was right in the middle of the common area and I played it for ten minutes but just couldn't go on because there were people studying and I felt bad for pounding away while they were trying to think. So I went to the music building and this time I found the practice rooms! And I found one with a sign on it that said "This room may be used for graduate audition warm-ups", so of course I snagged it right away. There were no windows on the doors like there is at SOU, and I was grateful for that. I practiced for about an hour and I felt very ready for the audition. I quit playing an hour and a half before I was scheduled to audition so I didn't wear myself out.

I showed up at the recital hall at 12:30, even though I wasn't scheduled until 1:00. I peeked at the schedule that was on the table and it said that there was a lunch hour for the panel from noon to 1 PM and that I was the first person scheduled afterwards. At 12:50, a lady came out of the recital hall and asked if I was Erin and I said yes (because I am) and she asked if I was ready and I said yes and we went into the hall. It was really pretty and big and there were somewhere between 7 and 10 faculty members there. (My memory is already fading). They asked me what pieces I was going to play and I told them, and then they told me that I could choose what I wanted to start with. My teacher had warned me that this would happen and I had already decided that if it was a piano that I hadn't played then I would start with the Chopin Scherzo, because I know it well (or so I thought) and because of the three that I'm playing, it is the easiest to play on a "new" piano.

I walked up on the stage and did not feel nervous at all. To be honest, I think I'm too tired to be nervous. I'm far beyond the stage where one night of good sleep could even begin to fix me. 6 years of working 30-40 hours a week and practicing 20-30 hours a week AND trying to have a life has caught up with me, and I am overall a very tired poodle. So maybe that explains what happened...

I started playing the Scherzo and it was going well. There were some wrong notes, but not the kind of wrong notes that matter. When I remember it, I feel like I only played for a minute and then it all went bad, but when I looked at my music later I found that I got through page 16 (out of 25) before it all went bad... I don't know how to explain it... all of the sudden I just couldn't remember what the hell I was doing. At least I didn't stop. Alex always told me "NEVER STOP", so I didn't, but man... it was NOT good. I crashed. But the thing is, I STILL didn't get nervous! I was totally calm!

Then they asked me to play some of my Bach Suite, and that went well. It wasn't amazing, but it was good and there weren't any mistakes, which surprised me because that was the one that I was most nervous about. Then they asked me to play the first movement of my Haydn Sonata, and that went VERY well. The panel must've been SO confused. They either thought that I was a great performer that doesn't let anything phase me, or they thought that I just don't know how bad I am. (In reference to the scherzo).

Then they interviewed me, and that part was pretty short and went well. I made eye contact with all of them as I was talking, blah blah blah.

When I left the building I thought that I had only been in there for 10 or 15 minutes and I felt really stupid that I barely played, but then I looked at my watch and realized that I had been in there for 35 minutes, so I felt better. Then I pulled out my phone to call Mommy-nose but then I remembered that she said that she wouldn't be home tonight until 8 PM. So I called Jacob, (Shush sister, I called you too), and debriefed and came to the conclusion that I had absolutely no idea how the hell I did, but that I was just glad it was done. Then I called my sister-nose and told her all about it. Then I got coffee and went back to my room.

As for the rest of today, I'm trying to enjoy having a few hours to do absolutely nothing. I'm so tired, I've been exhausted for months now, and its just nice to have some downtime.

I get back to Seattle tomorrow morning at 9:40 AM and work from 11:45 AM to 8 PM. Blah.

Despite the fact that work is driving me crazy, I miss Seattle and I can't wait to go back home.

This is not my blog... this is only a test...

I just wanted to check in because I know that I have a few people who are obsessively checking my blog for updates. I finished my audition at 1:30 PM and now I'm back in my room. It didn't go really good or really bad... actually it went really good AND really bad, meaning that it had its ups and downs. Either way, to be honest, I'm just really glad that its done. And the piano that I auditioned on was really fun to play.

Anyways, I'm going to blog later tonight. Right now all I want to do is take a bath and enjoy the closest thing to a day off that I've had in a looonnnngggg time. There's no piano here, therefore I don't feel guilty for not practicing. This is something that I don't usually get to experience!

Details later tonight. I promise. If you want a teaser, check out my sister's blog.

Monday, January 30, 2006

"I'll see better when the smoke clears inside my head..."

-Toby Lightman, Everyday

Mannnn, I'm sooooo tired.

I woke up a little after 6 AM, and at 6:30 AM Amber drove me to the airport. I was getting nostalgic because we drove by Southgate, which is where I used to spend many of my days off when I lived in my old apartment. Amber dropped me off at the airport and I went inside and realized that I had to take a train to my gate, and that made me uneasy. (There is a story about me that involves a mishap on light rail... I was having flashbacks). I got the gate A-Okay, and fell asleep in an airport chair for awhile. Then it was time to board. The flight was only 30 minutes long, and then I arrived in Canada.

First off, it is WARM. I mean, to "normal" people it is probably cold, but compared to Seattle, it is warm, and I must not be used to it because I've been overheated all day! Anyways, I went through customs with no problem, then had to figure out how to get Canadian money since I had to pay for the cab to the hotel. Once that was done, I was tired and my hands hurt from lugging around my stuff and I was feeling really disoriented. So I sat and had some coffee and listened to Franklin (my ipod), and attempted to call Mommy-face even though I was roaming, but she wasn't home. Then I found a phone book and wrote down a few taxi numbers, without stopping to realize that I was at an airport and there would be taxis lined up outside. Duh. Me is silly.

So I left the airport and went up to one of the taxis and the magic taxi took me to my hotel. (It wasn't really magic, but I just now got a really cool picture in my head of a taxi with wings).

I got to the hotel three hours before my check-in time, but thought I would see if I could check in early, and thank goodness I could! I got up to my room and immediatly figured out how to use the internet and I had some poodley e-mails from some of my music peeps. Then I took a shower, but the lack of shampoo actually made my hair even more oily. Sigh. My life is sooooooo hard.

Then I got back on the internet and found the website with the bus schedule. But I must've confused Magenta, (that's the name of my computer), because the directions that I recieved on how to bus to the University were very confusing. After LOTS and LOTS of wandering around, I went to Starbucks (yep I'm from Seattle), and asked the cool guy there if he knew how to get to UBC from there and it turns out that the bus stop was right across the street. Sheesh. And then I messed up on the bus and didn't know that the transfer just pops out when you put your change in, and that annoyed the bus driver. Double Sheesh.

By this point, my brain was feeling very funky. I didn't expect to feel that different being in Canada, but there is something VERY different about it. And in Seattle I'm SO in my element, and here, well, here I can't even figure out how to get my bus transfer!

I arrived at the University and just started walking. I don't know why I thought I'd be able to find the music building, I think in my mind I expected it to be glowing, or maybe I would hear it calling me or something. But after awhile I realized that wasn't going to happen, so I went to the Student Union and got a map and saw that the music building was very close to the Student Union! I happily started walking... and walking... and walking... and then it occured to me that I had been walking for a LONG time... then I looked at the map and GOSH DARNIT, I was walking the WRONG way. I turned around and walked the RIGHT way (ugh), and finally found the music building. Of course, by then I was sweaty and tired and my blood sugar was having a grand old field day. I went into the building and was hoping that I would find a piano, but I couldn't even find a person! The building is layed out weird and there were alot of closed doors, and I didn't want anyone that is going to be judging me tomorrow see me and how I looked today. Plus, by that point I was so out of it that if I would've practiced it would've been awful and I would've just freaked myself out. So I declared it time to go back to my room.

Except then I started getting really anxious. Not even so much about my audtions, just about... everything, I guess. And whenever I get like that, walking is one of the best remedies because when I go on a good long walk it is one of the only times that I really can clear my head. So I got off of the bus way earlier than I needed to and walked for well over an hour back to the hotel, stopping at Safeway to buy shampoo.

I got back to my room and washed my hair (yay) and took a really long bath (yay) and then realized that I was officially drained. I have recordings of all of the pieces that I'm playing for my audition downloaded onto Magenta. I got out all of my sheet music and followed along with the recordings, and by the time I was done with that I was sooooo tired. I had planned on going out to dinner but instead I went across the street, got a sandwhich, and brought it back to my room. Then I called Mommy-face, and now here I am.

Sheeshers. Sheeshers-Weeshers.

More blogging tomorrow... eeeeeeeeeeee.


I'm here in Canada and I'm in my hotel room AND I figured out how to use high-speed internet!!!

I'll do a longer blog tonight when I get back to my room... I just got here to the hotel about twenty minutes ago, after a mind-numbing morning of airline security, customs, money exchange, and taxi cabs. I'm on the 15th floor and the view of the city is AMAZING. I'll be posting pictures when I get back to Seattle.

Avril, (my phone), is roaming, so I won't be making many phone calls, so don't feel offended if you're one of the people that was expecting a call. If I find a cheap phone card, I'll buy one.

Its noon. I need to take a shower very badly, and I just discovered that although there is soap in the bathroom, there isn't shampoo. Sigh. So I guess after I wash my hair with, um, water, I'll head off to find UBC and then I'll head off to find shampoo. My audition isn't until tomorrow, but I want to figure out how to get there today so I'm not stressed about it in the morning.

Sigh. Breathe. Something...


Sunday, January 29, 2006

"I was restless when all around me slept - I think perhaps the moon has gotten into my blood."

-The Mists of Avalon

Yesterday was a day of much needed rest, aka, a day off from work. I guess I was a wee bit tired because I slept for 10 hours, and it felt GREAT. Although my work did call me, I didn't answer my phone. Instead, I ate ice cream.

I practiced for a few hours and realized that I'm at that point that I always get to right before a performance, when I realize that I'm at the point where all I can do is hope that I'm prepared enough, because if I work too hard now I'm just going to psych myself out. After I practiced I headed downtown to the bus stop, and the weather was SO gorgeous. I love the rain, but it was nice to see a clear sky, even if it only lasted for a couple of hours. The great weather mixed with my wonderful night of sleep had me in a great mood. I arrived at the Everett Park & Ride and Rebecca-feather-face picked me up and we went to the Lynwood Mall on a mission to find an outfit for me to wear to auditions. I wanted something pretty and classy, but that still showed my character. I saw the perfect outfit the minute that we went in the store, but sadly enough, they did not have it in my size.

We kept looking and quickly spotted a beautiful skirt that was all velvety and full of earth-tones. I grabbed it and we attempted to find everything in the store that went with the skirt, which was funny because we later discovered that I grabbed the skirt without even looking at the size. Luckily they ended up having the right size for me, but wouldn't it have been HILARIOUS if they didn't? First I tried the skirt with a black tank top.

We weren't crazy about how that looked, so we decided to go with a brown silky tank top instead. The first one that I tried on was a size too small, and it took quite some work to get out of it. I was almost stuck! Sigh. I felt rather silly when I tried on the next size and realized that there was a handy little zipper to prevent such mishaps. Oh bother. The minute we saw that outfit all together, we agreed that was "it".

Notice the socks. I'm so cool.

Of course Rebecca and I had to take some time to try on hats. I mean... Duh, what else would we do?

All of that shopping made us hungry, so we went and got some grub, then we headed back to the Pooky-palace and did a whole bunch of nothing, which was exactly what I've been wanting to do for quite some time now. This morning we got up and Scotty and Rebecca drove me back to my place and listened to me play through my program. Then I hurried off to work and Emily and I had our own little therapy session about our work environment while I drank coffee and ate a peanut-butter cookie. Mmmm...

Now I'm home. I think I'm going to play through all of my pieces really slowly, then pack, then try to relax. My plane leaves tomorrow at 9:40 AM.


Friday, January 27, 2006

"a matter of complication when you become a twist for their latest drink as they're transitioning..."

-Tori Amos, The Power of Orange Knickers

I woke up today feeling well-rested and ready to practice. I got out of bed at 7:30 AM and sat down at my keyboard to practice my Bach Suite. Then I decided that I needed to have a bowl of cereal, so I went out in the living room and ate some mini-wheats. No more than twenty minutes later, I returned to my room and saw that my cell phone had 8 missed calls. From my boss. UGH!!!

Long story short, I worked from 9:15 AM to 5:45 PM today. Sigh. I could bitch about it, but I won't. I was really stressed earlier today, that kind of stress where you're about to burst into tears because you don't know what else to do. But then I took my break and called Mommy-face and just talking to her made me feel, like, totally-for-sure better. (I love you Lorelai).

I got home a little after 6 PM, and made my newly-discovered comfort food. Pasta-Roni with Spinach mixed in. Mmmmmm... I ate and talked to Amber and watched Sex and the City and momentarily I think I might've actually relaxed! Then I saw that my passport finally came in the mail, which is a very good thing considering that I'm leaving for Canada on Monday morning. EEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I practiced for a couple of hours, then had to stop because of my gosh darn neighbors that like to gosh darn sleep. I was origionally planning on going to Scotty and Rebecca's tonight, but my sudden 8-hour work shift threw that off, so we pushed it to tomorrow. I miss the Pookies. They're so close, and we never see eachother. It is very silly. Tomorrow morning I am SLEEPING IN and then I'm practicing and then its off to shop with Rebecca. Yay.

There is so much going on right now. I'm trying to focus on all of it, and the end result is not being able to focus on any of it... I dunno. There is just so much to think about.

Peace out.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

"I wanna be lazy like the dogs in the yard..."

-Paul McCrane, Dogs in the Yard

I feel like I should blog about what's benn going on. In a nutshell, (I'm not really in a nutshell, its just an expression), I am tired. Very very tired. And I don't feel ready for my auditions. I guess I have the music memorized, but its not where it should be, and I have an intense jealousy for all of the people that I know who don't have to work full time AND practice full time. It is just soooo much... and there is only so much that I can do... I've worked as hard as I can, I've prepared as much as I can. We'll just have to wait and see what happens...

Work has been very stressful. I really did used to like this job, but in the last couple of months it has escalated to the point that it is at now. I don't know if I just didn't notice before, or if it has gotten worse, but my boss has such an awful attitude towards everything. She is so awful and so whiny and SO negative. Right now, the only employees at the store are Erin, Emily, Drew and I. As of yesterday, Drew is in the hospital, which according to Erin, makes him a very selfish person. (?!?) Anyways, I could go on, but what it boils down to is that I will be a very happy poodle the day that I no longer have to work at that job.

It was fun having the girls here this weekend. I miss them. I feel like I haven't really talked to anyone lately because I've been so clouded with the stress of everything that I need to be getting done. Amber and I just REALLY talked and caught up on eachother's lives for the first time in months, seriously. We never get to see eachother. We're both so busy. And Jacob's phone is on crack and we always end up getting frusterated at how often we get disconnected and its so hard having a friend like him that lives so far away that I never get to see and lots of times we can't even talk on the phone due to the whole phone-on-crack issue, and Scotty and Rebecca-nose live so close and I never see them... I'm at one of those points of my life when there is so much going on that I feel like there is nothing going on... If that made any sense, congratulations.

But not matter how stressed out I am, I love love love Seattle. I know that I've said that in numerous blog entries, but I just cannot get enough of this city. Every kind of person that you can imagine is living here, and its just so big and so open, and I love how easy it is to get lost here. I feel like this is exactly where I should be right now.

Alex e-mailed me yesterday and told me that I would be fine, and that I should call him so he could tell me that I would be okay and that I have talent and that I need to remember that.

I really hope he is right.

Good night.

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.
Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

You are best known for: your touch

Your dominant state: changing

Sunday, January 22, 2006

"Here's to the nights we felt alive, here's to the tears you knew you'd cry, here's to goodbye, tomorrow is going to come to soon..."

-Eve 6, Here's to the Night

These last few days have been a freakin blast from the past. Amber and I were graced with the presence of Jessica, Daun, AND Aly! The five of us have not been together for almost five years. It was quite the reunion. We are an odd group of peeps, that's for sure. All of us are so different, yet something about us is the same and ties us together. These girls mean the world to me. We have all been through alot together, some very good, some very bad, but all that matters now is that we got through it and still love eachother.

When I think about how we were when we all met and how we all are now, it is literally unbelievable when I realize how much we have all changed. But that is what makes it so amazing... that we have all changed so much, yet still kept the bond that we all have.

People always tell me that they are amazed at how many "real" friends I have. That they are amazed at how many people are so close to me, and that they admire that. And yes, I do put tremendous effort into maintaining relationships with the people that I love. And people always tell me how much that speaks for my character and what kind of person I am.

But I don't think it is so much about me. I think it is more about the fact that I have great people in my life. How could I not love them this much?


I am so lucky to have such great people in my life.

Much love.

Friday, January 20, 2006


Happy birthday to my Mommy! I admire my mom more than I admire anyone in this entire world. She is the most selfless person EVER, and she is a true example of strength and independence. I am so proud of how well she is doing in grad school!!! No matter how much my mom has going on, she always finds time for us kidlets, and helps us in any way that she can. I know that no matter what I do, my mom's love is unconditional and she understands me like nobody else ever will. She is, and always will be, one of my best friends.

Ma cooks and sews.

Mom, thank you thank you thank you, just for being you. If I can become even half the person that you are, I will be the happiest poodle in the whole world. No words will ever be able to even begin to explain how much you mean to me, how much I miss you, and how much I love you.

Have a good birthday. You deserve it. I love you and I miss you.

Shucks, now I'm all teary.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

"You set up your place in my thoughts, moved in and made my thinking crowded..."

-The Indigo Girls, Mystery

I went to bed a little before midnight, I woke up around 3:30 AM, and now it is 6:30 AM and I can't get back to sleep. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off. Anyways, I'm bored. Here is something to read. Yay.

8 have you evers.
-have you ever dated one of your best friends: Not really, we weren't actually "best friends" yet... and it wasn't exactly "dating".
-have you ever skinny dipped: I don't think so.
-have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: Sure.
-have you ever fallen in love: Hard question to answer... too complicated for a blog.
-have you ever lost someone you loved: yes
-have you ever been depressed: yes
-have you ever been drunk and threw up: Yep. (Sorry mom)

7 states you've been to.
1. Oregon
2. California
3. Washington
4. Alaska
6. Illinois
7. Arizona
(The last two were just for layovers at airports, but oh well).

6 things you've done today.
1. Woke up
2. had cereal
3. listened to my messages
4. checked my e-mail
5. blogged
6. accidently drank moldy orange juice. (It was beyond disgusting).

5 favorite things in no order.
1. Music
2. Cross-stitch
3. Walking
4. My bed
5. Performing

4 people you can tell [almost] anything to.
1. Sister-face
2. Amber
3. Meagan
4. Jacob

3 wishes.
1. To be financially stable
2. To fall asleep soon
3. To never again drink moldy orange juice

2 things you want to do before you die
1. Be financially stable (Maybe if I put it twice it will happen)
2. Spend a significant portion of my life living close to my mom so we could spend more time together.

1 thing you regret.
1. No regrets.

1. Male friend: I don't like picking best friends, I love all my friends for very different reasons.
2. Female friend: See above answer.
3. Vacation: Sorry, what?
4. Memory: Too many...

1. Time of day: Any time of day where I can't play piano or listen to music.
2. Day of the week: Tuesday or Wednesday
3. Food: Moldy food
4. Memory: I dunno... I don't really have one "worst memory" but there were a couple periods of time in Ashland that are still really hard to think about.

1. Person you saw: Amber
2. Person you hugged: Amber
3. instant message: I guess Meagan... I don't really IM ever, but we did a week or so ago.
4: Text: Daun

1. Best Friend: Either Jerome, Beth, or Lora, I can't remember.
2. School: Oh no! I don't remember the name of my pre-school! Sigh.
3. Job: Royal Marc
4. Obsession: I don't remember... maybe books, but I'm not sure.

1: Number: 42
2: Song: Lots, but at the moment I'd have to say "The Trapeze Swinger" by Iron and Wine
3. Color: Earth Tones, I guess.
4. Season: Spring

Hmmm... I'm still not tired. Gosh darnit.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

"Trading tragedies like damp matches, I want to take your hand and run to the bar but I know all the fancy words they have for that, let's just talk."

-Michelle Tea, The Beautiful

I'm really tired and about to go to bed (Because its 9:19 PM and that is soooo late), but I just had to take a moment to share what happened on the bus today. Ah, the city.

I got off of work and decided to call Nancy, since last time I talked to her I was being moody and not-fun. We were chatting, and then I got on the bus and kept chatting. The thing is, usually I never talk on the phone when I'm on the bus. But this bus was SO loud, everybody was talking, and there were at least two other people on their phones.

So as I'm talking to Nancy, this man comes and sits next to me. Well, not so much "sit" as "fall" next to me, and I could tell that not only was this a man who was under the influence of some serious drugs, but this was also a man who was under the influence of some serious anger. (I could also smell ALOT of alcohol).

[I would like to take this time to state for the record that I was talking in a VERY quiet voice so I wouldn't disturb the people around me. So there].

After a minute or two, this man (let's just call him Phil), started mumbling under his breath something along the lines of "stupid bitch, sadjfkl;cellphonesdfnkls;blah blah. (It was hard to understand him, but I'm pretty sure that's what he was saying).

Then Phil moved to the seat across the isle and started yelling louder in my direction, then eventually directly AT me, (its a 15 minute bus ride, alot can happen), and by the time it got to its climax he was yelling "STUPID WHORE TALKING ON HER STUPID PHONE, WHORE WHORE..." and I asked Nancy if she could hear it, and she said yes. She hadn't realized that I was on the bus, she thought I was on a crowded street corner or something.

At this point I was totally unphased. If I had been by myself on the street it might've been a bit different, but I was on a crowded bus, so whatevuh. I was just annoyed because he was making it hard to hear what Nancy was saying.

Then I guess the bus driver finally just couldn't take it anymore, because he got on the little speaker thing and was like "Will the man who is obviously intoxicated get off of my bus?" And then Phil just started yelling at me more (I was still just trying to hear Nancy) and then all of the guys on the bus started yelling at Phil, (aw, poor Phil), and they were all like "Watch your language! Watch your fucking language!" Which I thought was funny. Watch your "fucking" language. Heh.

So then the bus driver stopped at King Street Station and ordered Phil to get off the bus and it took alot of effort but Phil finally removed himself from the bus. He did, however, yell at the bus until it was out of sight.

Then I got off the phone and all the guys were like "Are you okay?" And I was just like, "Um, yeah, why wouldn't I be?" And they all seemed so surprised that I wasn't crying or something.

Hmph. I'm so tired.

Good night Phil... wherever you are...

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Here is the e-mail that Drew and I just sent to Leslie.

The green writing is both of us, the purple is me, the blue is Drew.

Hey homegirl,


How ya doin, how's it goin, give us our stuff back! (Drew's Mix CD, Erin Pez's Dashboard Confessional CD, )

Did you know that the store is going out of business? Well, it is! So we need our stuff before February 28th!


Did you know that Ryan got fired?

Did you know that when I was four, I was at a parade with my family and I was fighting with my brother and he pushed me into the road and I almost got trampled by horses?

Yeah, and did you know that when I was in the 6th grade I was being chased down the hall by these girls who I pissed off some how and I decided to hide in the bathroom... the girl's bathroom.

I walked into the wrong apartment once (too much to drink) and it took me putting my stuff down, going into the living room, watching TV and hearing a girl say "Excuse me?" before I realized that I didn't live there.

When I was a child, I used to tell my mom that I wished I was a girl so that I could be a tomboy.

If you want to buy any legs, they are on sale. Along with the pegs. You could tape some pegs to the legs and make a peg leg!

How do we close this out, yo?


Peace and Poodles!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

"I think I will just sleep for a few weeks because this whole scene has been a little draining, this night, these past weeks, the last few years..."

-Michelle Tea

I am officially overwhelmed. With a million different things. But if I write about them then I will just become even more overwhelmed. So I'll write about yesterday instead.

Um... yesterday... what did I do yesterday... Oh yeah. (Sorry, that seems like a VERY long time ago). Yesterday I spent the first half of the day practicing. Then Amber and I planned to go to Target and to dinner. Then we got to talking in the car and we were both very stressed about stuff, so we decided to make a quick stop at the bar that is in Northgate. We had a few drinks. We sent out a few text messages. The world became a little more tolerable. Then we decided that we needed to open our own bar someday, and we got out a pen and paper and started planning.
A Picture Share!

Then we went to Target where I was hoping that I could find a decent pair of pants, but I was unsuccessful. Then we went and ate at a Mexican Restaurant and caught up on stuff.

And that's all I feel like wriiting.


Your Life Path Number is 6

Your purpose in life is to help others

You are very compassionate, and you offer comfort to those around you.
It pains you to see other people hurting, and you do all in your power to help them.
You take on responsibility, and don't mind personal sacrifice. You are the ultimate giver.

In love, you offer warmth and protection to your partner.

You often give too much of yourself, and you rarely put your own needs first.
Emotions tend to rule your decisions too much, especially when it comes to love.
And while taking care of people is great, make sure to give them room to grow on their own.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

I hate my job, but I love Emily.

Emily and I are at work right now (can you tell) and I forgot my CDs today, so of course I had to go buy one, and we decided on a Modest Mouse CD, so I got "This is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About."

Emily's illusions are being shattered as I'm typing...

Anyways, I was listening to my Ipod Nano... WAIT. Story pause... there was just a large black gentleman yelling at someone on his phone. It might've been scary, except he was standing in front of the toe socks.

Then Emily had some issues getting the pen back in the circle thing. It was quite funny. Now we have a new game.

Anyways, back to my Nano (his name is Franklin), I was walking to work today and listening to "Float On" on repeat and I love how that song always makes things seem at least a little better.

This is a good CD.

This Emily.
A Picture Share!



I am at work right now (can you tell?) but I just wanted to give a shout-out to the best little poodle-love-ball in the whole world. There is no one in the world that is better to hug, and that is so loyal to everyone that he loves.

Hey mom, make sure to tell Ernie that I'm going to call him on my break and sing to him.


Saturday, January 07, 2006

"You were holding to me like a someone broken and I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now, 'just let me hold you while you're falling apart'..."

-Rob Thomas, Ever the Same

Work has been absolutely insane since we found out that we're going out of business. Everything in the store is 40% off, so of course we are swamped with hungry consumers. Thank goodness for Drew and Emily, my only hope of maintaining my sanity while at that job.

I decided that I'm going to walk to work on mornings that I open the store, since its too early to practice anyways. Its a walk that lasts a little under an hour with some pretty good hills, which rocks my world. I walked this morning and it was really nice. For a split second, I actually had time to think about stuff. And that was nice.

I'm experiencing constant tension due to the fact that my music STILL isn't memorized. At this point, the Chopin Scherzo is completely memorized. But I still have to memorize the last four pages of my Bach Suite, as well as the last two movements of my Haydn Sonata. And I work SO much in these next few weeks... I'm really nervous. I guess all I can do is what I've been doing for the last year, which is practice as much as I can and hope that its enough.

My thoughts are so foggy.... bleh.

I'm stealing this picture from Meagan's blog. This is me getting my tattoo touched up a couple of days ago. Yay.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Meagan's Cameo - PART TWO!!!

Uh oh, she gave me a whole new entry. I was just planning on editing the one from last night and pretending that I didn't flake out on it like I did. Oh well.

So on my blog (magn.blogspot.com) Erin mentioned how she worked for 8 hours on Wednesday. Like that block of time didn't even exist outside of the sox store. Well, it did! I had adventures! I walked all around Seattle for those 8 hours! That is a lot of walking. I went in practically every store in Erin's mall, including one (a Pacific Northwest store) where the employee gave me a big hug and patted my back for an awkwardly long time. Hmmm. I felt...loved? I went to two other malls, I went to an anarchist bookstore, I went to the Pike Place Market but got grossed out by the fish everywhere. I had a few rests. One for a martini at a swanky bar at the top of the USBank mall, one for a grilled cheese sandwich (off the kids menu, of course) at a trendy little restaurant inside Macy's (or was it Nordstrom's? I can never tell those two stores apart), and lastly I was in the mall food court having an Orange Julius when Erin came to meet me after work. Orange Julius. That was an oddly rare craving.

By the time Erin and I re-connected at 6:30p.m. my feet and body (yes, I know my feet are actually part of my body) were so very tired.

We went to the store (after many twists and turns getting lost. I rented a car thinking it'd be easier getting around. I may have been wrong.) to buy a healthy dinner. Party Pizzas (yes, plural), Ruffles Chips, Cheese Dip, Wine. Just for fun (and to continue taking up space in Erin's blog) I'm going to list everything we've eaten these last few days:

Tuesday: 2 martinis and Fondue at Gustav's at the Portland Airport. I cannot go through the P'land airport without having Gustav's!

Wednesday: "MostlyMuffins" orange cream bread on the airplane. I love morning flights just for this fabulous bread! We went out to breakfast at Denny's before Erin went to work. We considered going to some cool Seattle local place, but none of us knew of any. Well, Erin and Amber didn't know of any. I don't live here; why should I know? I could have done a minute of research and found one, but oh well. Denny's French Toast is good. And all the Breakfast-Diet-Coke you can drink. Then throughout the day those foods I already listed above.

Thursday: I think we had some LaffyTaffy and some chocolate in the morning. But then we left to find Erin's doctor at 10 a.m. and didn't have any real food until 12:30. Oh so hungry! We ended up at Noah's Bagels. Bagels are too real food. I had an Asiago with plain Schmear. Erin had a BAGELDOG! Bagel dogs, we have discovered, are quite poodlish (since I'm in Erin's blog right now, I thought I'd try to sound like her for a moment). Let's see what else? Are you still reading? i don't know why this blog is suddenly all about food. Anyway, the Noah's Bagels we went to was on Broadway near Union. If that means anything to you. It was a cool little neighborhood. Lots of funky shops. We went in the sex store, but didn't stay long. Not too exciting there. Other stores too, nothing remarkable to add. Erin got her tattoo touched up. That was fun! The guy doing it was so cool and I was so tempted to get a tattoo. But I didn't. I would like a wedding ring tattoo. If I did anything. Oh yeah, back to the food. So then we went back downtown (back, like where we were the day before) to the Pacific Place Mall because it has a movie theater. We bought tickets for The Producers then went to the Gordon Biersch Restaurant for martini-like sustenance. Then, even though it had only been a couple hours since our bagel lunch, we had more food. I had a wedge salad and Erin had, ummmm, something that looked really cool on a triangle-shaped plate. At the movie I had popcorn. Because movie popcorn is fabulous. Okay, this is a ridiculous run-on paragraph. I apologize to all the highly-educated literary readers of Erin's blog. But I'm going to keep going. :-) After the movie we had a sequel of the previous night's grocery stop: wine, frozen macaroni & cheese, popcorn, ice cream bits. And ate more LaffyTaffy and Chips/Cheese Dip as our appetizer while the mac & cheese was cooking. We should be supermodels.

New paragraph! Wow, that whole 'food segment' was way longer than I expected. I guess I could go back and delete some. But no. Now, on to the 'quote segment.'

If you didn't know already, Erin is way into music. Not just classical music, but actual pop-culture/radio/MTV type music. Of which I know nothing about. Practically every song we'd hear in a restaurant or store Erin would say "I LOVE that song!" Then I'd have to say "What song is it, who sings it" and get all the dirt of how this particular song relates to Erin's life. Once, the song "I didn't steal your boyfriend" by Ashlee Simpson came on. Erin's humming along (the chronic hummer that she is :-) and I asked, "Is that your theme song?" In writing that looks really mean of me. But it wasn't. I promise. It was hilarious. We had many moments where we just laughed and laughed to the point of silent laughter.

It was raining quite a bit yesterday afternoon as we walked around. Soaking raining. Walking, dripping, scroungy, dirty, wishing we had an umbrella. Then suddenly, "Hey! I was just under that guy's umbrella!"

I am done blogging for now. I cannot recall more for the moment. Abrupt ending. Goodbye and thanks for your participation.

love meagan

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Meagan-poodle-munchkin-face is here!!!

Hi everybody!!! Meagan is here!!! Check out her blog (magn.blogspot.com) for my thoughts on the last 48 hours.

And now... a cameo appearance from Meagan!!!

Cameo. Like those little pink and white locket type things. Know what I mean? I don't understand why they're called that.

I haven't read what Erin wrote on my blog yet. It will be fun to see how we overlap on various comments. You may be thinking, "huh? Are those two talking about the same thing?"

I am drinking good red wine and eating Symphony chocolate. Mmm mmm mmm. I brought Erin presents! The good kind of presents: ridiculous over-indulgence. A whole box (36 bars) of Symphony bars and a tub of Laffy Taffy (just so we could have fun with the jokes... Where is Ingagement, Ohio?......Between Dayton and Marrion.)

I'm going to be pathetically disappointing right now and stop writing for the moment. Because I hear Erin in the living room eating chips and starting another edition of our Les Mis, and I do not want to miss those things! Sorry, Erin! I solemnly swear to write more tomorrow morning before I leave!

love meagan

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

"We shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

-T.S. Elliot

I got the best news ever yesterday: The sock store is CLOSING!!! And I'm not being sarcastic, this really is the best news ever!

For the last month or so, my boss has been driving me absolutely insane. When I got this job she mentioned that since there are so few employees, it is important to make yourself available if someone is sick, etc. I said okay, not knowing that I would be called practically every time I had a day off to come in and work when I wasn't scheduled. (I've been summoned three times in the last six days). On top of that, she is just a very negative personality. When she is in a good mood I think she is great. When she's not in a good mood... yeah. Not so great. What finally pushed me over the edge was when I found out from Emily the other day that Erin (my boss) was totally talking about me behind my back, saying that I "NEVER" can cover shifts (TOTALLY not true), and that she is mad that I always have people visiting me. I think Emily said Erin's exact words were "I don't understand why she always has friends visiting her. Why doesn't she just move back to Ashland?"

Anyways, day after day after day after day of hearing her complain has really built up, not to mention not being able to go more than one freakin day (if that) without hearing from the store. I've been wanting to quit, but decided that I had to wait until after grad school auditions. I've been dreading quitting, because I know that Erin would've made it into a big dramatic production.

So last night we had a work meeting... and it is official... the store will close on February 28th! I don't even have to quit!!!

Hopefully that will make the next two months of work more bearable than the last two months. If nothing else, at least I got to meet Drew and Emily. They are very cool poodles.

Meagan comes tonight! YAY!!!

Sunday, January 01, 2006

"I want to go ouuuuuuut tonight!"

-Rent, Out Tonight


Happy New Year everybody!!!

I worked until 6 PM yesterday, then headed home to begin the festivities with Amber. We did rapid apartment cleaning so by the time we were done our apartment was only "messy" instead of "insanely-awfully-pigsty-ish". Then Stefani showed up and had just been involved in a car accident, so she was a tad bit stressed but still smiley. Then Scotty and Rebecca-face showed up, I put on some music, and we partied like it was 1999. (We always get the year mixed up...) There was a little itsy-bitsy bit of alcohol consumed. Sorry Mom. The original plan was to start at my place and work our way downtown... that kinda fell through. Why go out when the party is inside?
When it was almost midnight, we headed down to the overpass down the street. Scotty and Rebecca left first, (I they needed a break from how cool I am), and Amber, Stefani and I followed closely behind. We watched the city, yelled "WOOOOO" at midnight, and tried to keep Stefani from falling over the railing. Amber, Stefani and I were VERY, um... happy. (Sorry mom).
Shortly after that little adventure, (and what an adventure it was), Scotty and Rebecca-noodle-nose went home, and Stef, Amber and I continued our shananigans. Amber and I were both wide awake and wanted to stay up, but we decided that Stefani needed some sleepy-sleep. Stefani, however, did not want sleepy-sleep. So Amber "helped" Stefani get into my bed.
We woke up this morning and the three of us laid in my bed, ate potato chips, drank water, and acted like complete idiots.
Now I'm at Scotty and Rebecca's. We're going to go see The Producers tonight. Hey, look at my t-shirt!
Much love!