"I'm not good at taking my own advice, she said, but that doesn't mean I don't know what's right."
Filling out grad school stuff makes me shaky!!! (Well, the four cups of coffee that I've had in the last two hours might also be a factor).
I was looking at the audition schedule for Cleveland, and the time slots are from 8:45 AM to 5 PM!!! And they say that you will be needed for that entire time slot!!! What on Earth could take that long?!? I really hope that there are no electric shock treatments involved. That might make me feel kinda weird.
Nervous! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! I've officially decided that if I don't get into grad school, then I'm going to quit what I'm doing now and find a way to make piano a more active part of my life. No matter what. So either way, my life will be changing alot in the next year. Again. And that makes me excited. And nervous. And shaky. (Or maybe it IS just the coffee)!
Grad school auditions feel so much more scary than undergrad auditions. Undergrad was just about showing that I could play at the required level, and I knew that I could, so it wasn't a big deal. But now... its about showing that I'm GREAT.
And frankly, (do you mind if I call you Frankly), when I'm working 35-50 hours a week and trying to get grad apps done, and trying to maintain a form of a life, I don't feel like I have the time to be GREAT.
Oh well. Time will tell. If grad school doesn't work out, something else will. If that's one thing I've learned, time has a way of pushing you where you're supposed to go.
I just can't wait to see what I'll be doing in a year. I love not knowing. I love change.
Oh, and I love Northern Exposure. I'm going to kidnap Chris and keep him all for myself and make him read to me everynight. That would be cool.
Okay, enough of this nonsense. I'm going to go try to memorize some more of my Bach Suite before I have to go to work.