Hardcore Pepperocini

Sunday, October 30, 2005

"If you come at any old time, I'll never know when I should prepare my heart..."

-The Little Prince

CD Player
Cell Phone

Library Circulation
Nordstrom stocker (not to be confused with "stalker")
Camp Counselor
Old Navy

Easy Street Records
Barnes and Noble
Old Navy

Good Will Hunting
Almost Famous
When Harry Met Sally
American Beauty

Live in Portland for at least a year
Work as a pianist for a really cool theatre company
Be financially stable

Ashland, OR
Eagle Crest, OR
Anchorage, AK
(That's it. I really don't go on vacations)

...I think those are the only ones that I go to on a routine-daily basis

Red Robin
House of Thai

The Noid
The little girl from Poltergeist (What was her name?)
A Ghostbuster
A Secratary

Hector Campbell Elementary
Rowe Jr. High
Milwaukie High School
Southern Oregon University



Friday, October 28, 2005

"Then the mists fell over us, and I felt within my very soul that shifting which told me I was once again within my own place."

-The Mists of Avalon

I just finished reading The Mists of Avalon, and oh my gosh, what an amazing book. I cried when I finished reading the last page, the same way that I cry at the end of a really good movie. It was an amazing novel about femininity, spirituality, sexuality, and the earth. While reading it, I was constantly shocked at what I was reading. Not because I found it scandalous, but because I didn't know that there were other people out there who really understand the tie between nature and people, enough to write an 876 page book about it. I feel like Marion Zimmer Bradley took ideas that many of us understand but don't know how to put into words, and she created one of the most beautiful novels that I have ever read.

Thanks Mommy, for sending it to me. And now, getting my tattoo touched up will be much more special.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

"I hear your song come so faint and so clear and I catch it, a breath on the wind, and I smile and I sing you a song."

-Send Me a Song (This song makes me cry but I listen to it on repeat anyways)

I'm soooo happy right now. I can officially play the first 14 pages of my Chopin Scherzo without the music! I could stress myself out about the million other pages of music that I still need to memorize, but for the moment I'll just enjoy the fact that my brain still knows how to make sense of all those crazy little notes. Its such a relief... I was getting worried.

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

See? Me is smart!

"Somewhere back there in the dust, that same small town in each of us..."

-Don Henley, End of the Innocence

Rebecca recently did a blog about the weather that inspired me to write a blog about how much I love Seattle and how glad I am that I moved here.

Not that I don't love Ashland. That little town has shaped me in ways that I will never be able to explain, and I have met people there that I will love for the rest of my life, and I will always remember those hills as some of the most beautiful scenery that I have ever seen. And the music... I heard amazing music when I lived there, from some of the most amazing musicians that I will ever know.

But alas, a time came when I simply had to leave. Too much had happened and I was feeling sufficated, and I knew that although I loved Ashland so much that it hurt, I had to go.

So I went to Seattle. Its hard to explain why, because I had only been here once and that was my junior year of high school. But for some reason I just felt like this is where I should be.

I love it here. I love the buildings, and the hardened faces, and the rain and the fog and the cold and the way that it feels to know that when I walk down the street, I won't recognize anyone that I see. For the past week, the air has smelled of snow, and trick-or-treating, and childhood. I love it here. Every day that I have lived in Washington, I have had at least a moment of realizing that this is where is where I should be.

Don't get me wrong. I miss Ashland so much that it hurts.

But I'm so glad that I'm here.

Fwd: A Picture Share!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

"I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life."

-The Great Gatsby

Today was tiring, but good. I woke up around 7:30 AM at Scotty & Rebecca's place and watched a movie, then the three of us went and had a REALLY good breakfast. Then Rebecca went home and Scotty and I went to Northgate Mall and met up with Karen and Zach. Dad was still teaching a class at Shoreline CC, so the four of us killed time by playing Scrabble in the food court. Scott won. Damn him.
Fwd: A Picture Share!

Then we went to Red Robin since there is one in the mall. I was still pretty full but I had an absolut lemonade and we all shared some appetizers and discussed what we would do if we won the lottery.
Fwd: A Picture Share!

After awhile, Dad called and said he was done teaching, so Karen went to get him and Scotty, Zach and I kept ourselves entertained at the mall.
Fwd: A Picture Share!
Fwd: A Picture Share!
Fwd: A Picture Share!

Dad and Karen soon arrived back at the mall and the five of us wandered around aimlessly for quite some time. Then we all started feeling hungry and decided that we should go get dinner. Dad remembered that there was a BBQ place nearby and he really wanted to go there because it had been several years since he had been there. So off we went; Karen and Dad in one car, Scott, Zachary and I in the other. We were communicating via cell phones, plus we were right behind Dad and Karen the whole time. Dad called us to let us know that we were going to take the "short way".

An hour later, we pulled up into the parking lot that Dad and Karen had pulled into. Here is a picture of what we saw when we got out of the car.
Fwd: A Picture Share!
Doesn't really look like a BBQ resteraunt, does it? Well folks, that is because the BBQ resteraunt is now a furniture store, so Dad was just pulling over so we could come up with a plan B. We hung out in the parking lot for awhile and decided to go to Lynwood, a nearby Seattle district, because Scotty said there were lots of good resteraunts there. So once again, we were off, and the world was once again okay because we found an Olive Garden.
Fwd: A Picture Share!
Fwd: A Picture Share!

Good night!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

"I'm foolish and crazy, I just think that maybe I've got alot of things to figure out..."

-Rosie Thomas

This morning I got abducted by aliens!
Okay, so I didn't, but doesn't that picture make it look like I did?

Then I dyed my hair with "funky cherry" hair dye. Doesn't it look like I had a head-wound?

Tonight, Scott and Rebecca and I went and had dinner with Mrs.Ashmon, Alisa, and JR. Alisa's house is beautiful and it was so much fun chatting with them. Well, it was at least fun chatting with Mrs.Ashmon and Alisa... I don't think that JR actually got a word in. But he laughed alot.

Friday, October 21, 2005

"They say that a time comes when men laugh at misery through long acquaintance with it. Surely that time will come soon to me!"

-Thomas Hardy, Return of the Native

I got to sleep in today! Well I actually only slept until 7:30 so it wasn't like I really took advantage of the oppurtunity, but the moral of the story is that I didn't have to wake up to an alarm! And I have the WHOLE day off. Yay.

I'm gonna clean my room and then I'm gonna practice (I bet my mom is gonna be really annoyed when she sees me using the term "gonna") and then I'm going to go downtown and get even MORE hair chopped off. This hair-cutting business is an addiction. Then I'm going to go to a CD store in Queen Anne (one of the many districts in Seattle) to hopefully hear Rosie Thomas perform. I missed her concert last week because it was sold out, so I'm hoping that I can see her today.

Then... Tonight... Drum roll please...

Will is coming to town! So if you hear about an earthquake in Seattle, don't worry. It wasn't an earthquake. It was just Will.

UPDATE: Will might not be able to come due to transportation issues... but he's not sure... (Rebecca, this update is mainly for you).

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

"I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it..."

-Ashlee Simpson

The new Ashlee Simpson CD came out today. I really really wanted a copy TODAY, not tomorrow, not the next day. I've been a very stressed out poodle and I need a fun CD! Recently when the new Fiona Apple CD came out, I had to wait a week until I finally got a copy because they kept selling out. In order to be better safe than sorry, I reserved a copy of the new Ashlee CD yesterday at the music store in Westlake Center when I was on my break. As much as I stand by my choice to support Ashlee Simpson, I will admit that I had to swallow alot of pride in order to go up to the counter and ask "Can I reserve a copy of the Ashlee Simpson CD?" But gosh darnit, I did it.

So this morning I was working at Old Navy from 7 Am to 11:15 Am and went over to the music store when I was on my break. Once again, I swallowed a pretty big lump of pride when I went up to the counter and said "I have a copy of the new Ashlee Simpson CD on reserve." But once again, gosh darnit, I did it.

But the guy couldn't find my CD that I had already paid for in full, so he asked another employee for help, and then that employee asked another employee for help, and soon there were four employees looking for my reserved copy of the Ashlee Simpson CD. After 10 minutes of me standing there with a big lump of pride in my stomach, they finally found it.

And now I am listening to it.

Gosh darnit.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

"Daring something big to crack me open and let me prove for once that I really am the queen of this."

-Michelle Tea

I just thought I'd drop in and let you all know that I made it through the day in one piece. I actually got alot done, and I think I figured something out that is going to make the whole application/audition process much less stressful. The five schools that I narrowed it down to don't require a Beethoven sonata. Instead, they give the option of Beethoven, Mozart, or Haydn. And I already know a Haydn sonata! That means much less music for me to frantically memorize. And that means more time to breathe. And breathing is a very nice thing to have time to do.

It also helps to have a mommy that is a splenderific writer that you can e-mail your essays to and count on to rearrange your words for you and make you sound smart.

I am going insane. I have so much to do for grad school and I can't focus on anything. My mind is one big cloud of nothing. I can't get anything done. It is making me very uneasy. And Toby is driving me insane. (Amber, I love you).


Saturday, October 15, 2005

I can't sleep, so I guess I'll fill this out and hope it maks me sleepy.


Three Things I Do Not Understand
1. People who don't think caring for the environment is important
2. President Bush
3. How Ernie-face got so cute

Three Things On My Desk
1. A funny book that Daun gave me
2. Earrings
3. Thumbtacks

Three Things I'm Doing Right Now
1. Breathing
2. Typing
3. Listening to music

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Travel
2. Have a home in Portland
3. Finish grad school

Three Things I Can Do
1. Play piano
2. Cross-stitch
3. Blog

Three Ways To Describe My Personality
1. Dry
2. Mellow
3. Intense

Three Things I Can't Do
1. Snowboard
2. Bake bread
3. A cartwheel

Three Things I Don't Think You Should Listen To, Ever
1. The fire alarm in my apartment complex
2. People that chew their food like cows chew grass
3. Nails on chalkboards (eeee!)

Three Things I Say
1. Like
2. Es el fin del mundo
3. Poodle

Three Things I'd Like To Learn
1. How to play guitar
2. How to focus on anything for more than two minute at a time
3. How to quilt

Three Beverages I Drink Regularly
1. Orange Juice
2. Water
3. coffee

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid
1. Family Ties
2. Mary Tyler Moore
3. Sesame Street

Three Things I Wish People Would Learn To Do
1. Not sweat the small stuff
2. Not be codependent
3. To appreciate poodles more.

Nope. Didn't work. I'm still not sleepy.


Thursday, October 13, 2005

"...She saw everything through rippling water, and it was somehow like a dream she had once, if only she could remember..."

-The Mists of Avalon

I didn't have to work today! Can you believe that? I did still have to get up at 5:40 AM to go watch Erin's kid, (I do that every Thursday), but then I came back home and slept until 10 AM. To be honest, I did absolutely nothing today. Luckily I have tomorrow off too, so at least I can still get the stuff done that I needed to get done.

I was planning on going to a movie today, because I had a free pass and figured that I never go to movies and that since it was free, I should go. I got all ready and started walking downtown. The weather was SO amazing! It was gray and cold and it wasn't raining but it smelled like rain, and I realized that I didn't want to go sit inside and watch a movie! So instead, I took a two and a half hour walk. And it was great. It was the first time in a long time that I took a walk just for the sake of walking, instead of for the point of getting somewhere.

I'm excited for Saturday. A few years ago, my sister burned me a CD with a song on it that I love love love. Since then I have got two more of the singer's CDs, and I love them. And she is from Seattle! And she is singing at a place downtown on Saturday and the show is super cheap! Yay!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

"It ended bad, but I love what we started..."

-Fiona Apple, Parting Gift

I had such a weird dream last night that I was shopping with my mom at Target for a new dining room table, and we ran into Alex and were talking to him, and then Jerome was the checkout guy while we were buying our things. But Alex was giving me advice about grad school and I was so occupied with listening to him that I didn't realize that Jerome was there until I was already out of the store. I woke up really sad.

I was scheduled to work at 7 AM. Whatever supervisor was supposed to open the store didn't show up, so once again, me, Cedric and Dave will be paid for the hour and a half that we sat outside. This is going to make me sound like an oddball (what's new), but I really enjoyed sitting outside and reading, and watching the city wake up.

Anyways, I better go practice for my lesson.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

"I think I will just sleep for a few weeks because this whole scene has been a little draining, this night, these past weeks, the last few years..."

-Michelle Tea

I just started filling out my first grad school application. After half an hour, I had to quit because it was making me nervous and sick to my stomach.

That's not a bad sign, is it?

Anyways, here is more pictures for those of you who like to right-click and save them to your computer and claim them as your own. My apologies that they are small. Life is tough.
musical cat

jake pictures


I'm at Rebecca's still and she got it so I could transfer my camera pictures to her phone. I couldn't upload all of them, but here are some to keep you entertained:


Saturday, October 08, 2005

"Its like that part of my brain is missing."

-Scott, the wonder Pez

I'm at Scott and Rebecca's and I just had to blog after Scott said such a beautiful thing. Rebecca and I are having a GREAT time watching the football game. We just can't stop cheering, this football business is just like a drug. As I'm writing this, Rebecca is jumping up and down in front of the TV screaming. She's not even cheering FOR the actual game anymore, she is just screaming.

Rebecca and I were just commenting that maybe the time would be going by faster if we had alcohol, but maybe its best that we didn't have any as we are approaching true hysteria. Here is the "conversation" that just took place:

-Rebecca: Its amazing how stupid this game is. (In reference to football).
-Scott: Its not stupid!
-Me: No, we weren't talking about football we were talking about... Yatzee.
-Rebecca: Yeah, I hate Yatzee. You can never make more than a four letter word.
(I stare blankly at Rebecca).
-Me: No, Yatzee is the one with the dice.
-Rebecca: Oh yeah!!!
We both laugh hysterically).

By the way, Scott and Zach are on the phone and Scott just informed him that he had to go because we're making fun of him.

Pooky there is an ant on the wall!!!

How did you get the sushi in the computer?

We have lost our minds.

Your Daddy Is Mike Tyson
What You Call Him: Dada
Why You Love Him: He's the Mack Daddy

"She drew up for herself, in the silence of her mind, a list of the things now cluttering her heart..."

-Snow Falling on Cedars

I really have nothing to say today, but I have to post something since it isn't Meagan's birthday anymore! Since my mind is a big blank blob of jello right now, (check out that link, my mom wrote it), I'm going to do one of those survey things, cause at least they fill up space, right? I found this on some random person's blog... mad props to them.

1. What’s your favorite kind of cookie?
-I was going to say "any cookie that my mommy makes", but then next time I go to Milwaukie she would probably make me spinach & oatmeal cookies, and then say "Well you said they were your favorite!", so instead I'll say... um... my mom's molasses cookies when they are all fresh and warm. It isn't even that they're my favorite cookie, but they just make me feel so happy and cozy.

2. Who is America’s most overrated actor?
-I don't watch enough movies to answer this question. Actually, I probably have seen enough movies. Please refer back to my comment about my brain being a blank blob of jello. Thank you.

3. Name a guilty pleasure.
-Ashlee Simpson. I am seriously excited to get her new CD. (You all can just SHUSH).

4. “Scrubs” or “Everybody Loves Raymond”?
-I've never seen either...

5. Name two things you can’t live without.
-Piano, Reading

6. Your first pet’s name + your mother’s maiden name = your porn star name.
-Ernest Howard. Huh. Guess its good that I don't have aspirations to be a porn star.

7. What song are you listening to right now?
-"Cold", by Bari Koral

8. Name your celebrity crush.
-I have a few.

9. Favorite punchline from a joke.
-"Yeah, I slip like that too. The other day I meant to say 'Honey how was your day', but instead I said 'Bitch you ruined my life'."

10. Who do you want to pass this meme off to?
-Whoever is reading this. Duh!

Friday, October 07, 2005


Everybody, it is Meagan's birthday! And that makes me happy because it gives me a reason to say how much I love Meagan and how glad I am that we got to know eachother (just in the knick of time) and how I consider her one of my best friends and how I don't know what I would do if it weren't for her and her non-judgemental acceptance of my million-page e-mails.

I love you I love you I love you and I miss you and I'm glad that you liked your socks and I'm glad that you are you!!!!

You're a fox!!!

Fwd: A Picture Share!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

"She thought wildly, not knowing it was the beginning of a confusion which would grow endlessly and never be wholly settled in her mind."

-The Mists of Avalon

I've been really overwhelmed lately. There are so many things that I need to be giving my attention to and I'm having trouble figuring out how to balance it all out. I decided that tomorrow on my lunch break I'm going to start making a calendar of EXACTLY what I have to have done and when. I have a feeling that will help, to have it all on paper and not just floating around in my head. There is just so much... and I'm sick of money, or lack there of. I changed my student loan payment plan, so now I'm going to have alot more interest but at least I won't be having a heart attack everytime my monthly bill comes.

I've been such an irratable poodle lately. Way more than usual. If you can believe it.

On a more uppity-up note, it is Scotty-faces birthday today! I tried calling him all day today whenever I had a break, because I worked from 6 AM to 8 PM. I never got a hold of him, but we left eachother messages all day and I think I might actually get to see him on Sunday, which would be really really really nice.

That's all for now. Later gators.

You Aren't In the Best Of Moods

While you aren't full on depressed, things aren't going your way.

You may be hurt, angry, frustrated... or all three.

Not to worry - you'll be feeling fine in no time.

Monday, October 03, 2005

"You have a problem with men she told me, did you have a bad experience and I said yeah my whole life's a bad experience with men."

-Michelle Tea

I'm kinda stressed and kinda tired and kinda-sorta freaking out about grad school and I wish I had more time to just relax and think... whoa is me. My bro-wo's birthday is on Wednesday and he lives 30 minutes away but I work that day from 6 AM to 8 PM. Whoa is me again.

Anyways, mad props to my sister-face for e-mailing this quiz to me so I don't have to use brainpower to think of something to write. I love her, even though she didn't call me this weekend to tell me how the moving process went. (Insert guilt trip here).

1. What is your middle name?
-- Elizabeth

2. What color underwear are you wearing now?
-- I'm not wearing underwear... what do you think about that? (I want to state for the record that am wearing pajama bottoms... so there).

3. What are you listening to right now?
-- The Indigo Girls

4. What are the last 2 digits in your phone number?
-- 05

5. What was the last thing you ate?
-- I'm eating noodles as I'm blogging. I'm talented like that.

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
-- macaroni and cheese :) ( I always stay with my sister's answer on this).

7. How is the weather right now?
-- Cold, rainy, gray, cloudy, perfect.

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
-- Jacob.

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
-- Wit. Physically, probably their eyes.

10. Favorite type of Food?
-- Carbs

11. Do you drink?
-- No, no matter what this person tries to tell you.

13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did?
-- No, no matter what this person tries to tell you.

14. Hair color?
-- Who knows at this point, I think its dark burgundy/purple/brown/red.

15. Eye color?

16. Do you wear contacts?
-- Yep

17. Favorite Holiday?
-- I like them all for different reasons.

18. Favorite Month?
-- I dunno... November maybe? Or maybe I'm just saying that so I don't have to leave this question blank.

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
-- I've cried kinda outa nowhere, but I think there is always a reason even if you want to deny that it is there.

20. What was the last movie you watched?
-- Now and Then

21. Favorite Day of the Year?
-- Any day that I get to be with my brother and sister and we somehow find time to take a roadtrip to the gorge. Those days are always perfect.

22.Are u too shy to ask someone out?
-- no, I'm just too tainted to WANT to ask someone out.

23.If you could say something to someone right now what would it be?
-- I would tell my piano teacher "Take me. TAKE ME NOW." I mean... nothing comes to mind.

24. Hugs or Kisses?
-- Both, from the right person. Neither, from the wrong person.

25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
-- Both, and maybe add a banana?

26. Do you want your friends to respond?
-- Yes, but they all hate me, so they won't.

27. Who is most likely to respond?
-- Meagan, but maybe not right away.

28. Who is least likely to respond?
-- The guys.

29. What books are you reading?
-- "The Mists of Avalon". I know I've been reading this for awhile, but I only have time to read a chapter every couple of days. Sigh.

30. Piercings?
-- Ears.

31. Favorite Movie?
-- I could never just pick one movie. But there is something about Good Will Hunting that I love. I just think that it is a perfect movie. Which says alot because I have somewhat icky memories associated with it, and I still love it as much as I always have.

32. Favorite baseball t eam?

33.What were you doing before this??
-- Practicing. (Shush).

34. Any pets?
-- Ummm, Amber has Toby, but he is no way "mine" And there is Ernie, but he is far far away in the land of Milwaukie.

35. Aim?
-- I wonder if this is asking about Instant Messaging, or goals? I don't know anything about Instant Messaging. As far as goals... well... I'm beginning to think that I don't know anything about those either.

36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
-- butter (Katie, remember how dad used to salt his popcorn at the movies)?

37. What are you wearing right now?
-- Pajama pants and an old t-shirt. Its my supermodel outfit.

38. Favorite Flower?
-- I don't freakin know.

39.Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to??
-- Who hasn't?

41.Have you ever loved someone?
-- I don't know... I think I'd rather not figure that one out... my brain hurts... must move on to next question.

42. Who would you like to see right now??
-- MY SISTER!!! (Sister, I've been thinking about you nonstop)!!!

43. Are you still friends with your ex's??
-- Good lord, I don't even have ex's, I just have blah-blah's.

44. Have you ever fired a gun?
-- Nope. And I hope it stays that way.

45. Do you like to travel by plane?
-- Sure. Its speedy.

46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
-- right

47. If you could be with someone right now, who would it be??
-- Didn't I already answer this?

48. How many pillows do you sleep with?
-- I have to sleep with at least two because of my shoulders, but sometimes I use more.

49. Are you missing someone?
-- Of course! But specifically Nancy-face. I talked to her on Sunday for the first time in a long time, and good golly I miss her.

50. Do you have a Tattoo?
-- Two

Well I don't know about you guys, but that sure wore me out. I best be signing off.


Saturday, October 01, 2005

I've never posted this many blog entries in one day.... oh well.

I've been practicing the same two lines of my Bach Prelude for an hour and it sounds worse than when I started. And I am finding nothing humerous about this.
Fwd: A Picture Share!

Okay... deep breath... back to the piano.

I was trying to post a link but it didn't work and every time I try to delete this post, my computer freezes. So...um... here is a picture.

sibling fridge

Big shout-out to my siblings who helped make this picture possible, and an even bigger shout-out to my mommy-face who let us leave the fridge like this for the entire holiday season, even when Gammie was at the house.

I love being a Pez.

"She slept long and deeply, without dreams, the weariness of many days suddenly descending upon her."

-The Mists of Avalon

I feel amazing right now. Last night I slept for 9 un-interrupted hours, and it was great.

Emily brought me a truffle yesterday when she showed up for her shift. There was no reason for it, she just did it as a nice friendly gesture. It made me happy. I feel like I'm actually starting to make some friends here, instead of just acquaintances.

I had a great moment last night. I was practicing and I discovered that I finally have my Bach Prelude completely memorized! Yay!

Now I'm going to go watch Northern Exposure until its time to practice. I watched the "Running of the Bulls" episode last night. It made me all teary. But no worries... they were happy tears. My mom has been trying to get me to watch that episode for years, and now I understand why.

Grad School, Grad School, must focus on Grad School...